When Approval Becomes a Cage: Reclaiming the Worth You Forgot Post

There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from overwork—it comes from over-performing.

You know the script: scan the room, soften your tone, shrink a little. Make sure everyone else is okay. Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay too.

This lie—that you are only worthy if others approve—sinks in early. A parent’s withdrawal. A teacher’s praise only when you excelled. A sibling’s peace that depended on your silence.

So you learned to shape-shift. To please. To keep the peace.
But at what cost?

You lost touch with your truest self—the one who didn’t ask, “Is this okay?” before speaking.

Here’s the truth: your worth isn’t up for debate. It never was.

Yes, we need connection—but not the kind built on performance. Not the kind that says, “Only if you stay small.”

So let me ask:

• Where did you learn that being yourself wasn’t enough?

• What might shift if you stopped scanning for approval and started standing in your truth?

You are allowed to take up space. Even if not everyone claps.

Invitation:
If something in you softened while reading this… that’s your soul remembering.
You don’t need permission.
You’re already enough.